Mary put her head on her pillow as tears rolled down her face moistening the white pillowcase. She recently broke up with the man she shared the past several years of her life in a personal and emotionally intimate way. “I can’t believe it is over” She whispered to herself as the tears started to stream at an even greater pace over her cheeks to the pillow. Then Mary got up and found some really old love songs she had forgotten about as if she had found a long-lost friend and played them all evening. Now, she really was in the deepest blue funk, so thick it was like driving in fog so dense you would have to pull off the road. She was blanketed in sorrow as every lyric reminded her of almost every moment of her recently past relationship. Lyrics like:
I am frozen for the moment and continue to melt with the love you consume me with
Every instant seems like forever
And every embrace is one to remember
“The Embrace To Remember” By Jenna
Shellhammer
Now, you may be wondering why Mary would listen to old love songs after she lost the wonderful embrace of love that filled her days over the past several years. It would seem as if she is torturing herself, which is actually very common. Many after splitting up will stay up late at night listening to the radio requesting love songs to be played as the DJ may give words of comfort before playing the request. Why? Why do people do this? It would seem like the last thing you would want is to do anything to remind yourself of lost love.
What’s the answer? One word… Emotion. Is that it? Yes! Why do we find ourselves attracted to soap operas? Men have their soap operas too; it’s professional wrestling.
What’s the definition of a soap opera? Soap Opera: A radio or television series depicting the interconnected lives of many characters, often in a sentimental, melodramatic way.
They stir in us strong emotions. Our emotions make us feel, which if you had to try and describe the emotion of love (a feeling) it is very hard to put into words. If you had ten people in a room, and asked for a description, you are more than likely to get ten different answers.
What happens chemically in our bodies when we feel? Our bodies can produce and release adrenaline, dopamine, serotonin, oxytocin and more. These chemicals can give us the feelings or high of excitement and warm fuzzes. There can be a comparison to the similar effects of cocaine. We may desire these chemicals to be released in our blood stream at any time, but also at times of sadness; hence the desire of what may seem like torturous love songs after a break-up or romantic movies that may especially end in a sad way. They create in us intense emotions.
Also, our emotions at times of sadness, if you are watching a sad love story or listening to love songs, may create feelings of even deeper hurt and pain or greater focus on your pain. What does this do? Glad you asked! We focus more on our pain, which means, we focus more on ourselves, to put it in the simplest terms, self attention. Since you don’t (or nobody) loves and values me enough, I will just have to love myself. We are going to get value and attention some way, even if it has to hurt. There you have it; addicted to emotion during and after the relationship.
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I am frozen for the moment and continue to melt with the love you consume me with
Every instant seems like forever
And every embrace is one to remember
“The Embrace To Remember” By Jenna
Shellhammer
Now, you may be wondering why Mary would listen to old love songs after she lost the wonderful embrace of love that filled her days over the past several years. It would seem as if she is torturing herself, which is actually very common. Many after splitting up will stay up late at night listening to the radio requesting love songs to be played as the DJ may give words of comfort before playing the request. Why? Why do people do this? It would seem like the last thing you would want is to do anything to remind yourself of lost love.
What’s the answer? One word… Emotion. Is that it? Yes! Why do we find ourselves attracted to soap operas? Men have their soap operas too; it’s professional wrestling.
What’s the definition of a soap opera? Soap Opera: A radio or television series depicting the interconnected lives of many characters, often in a sentimental, melodramatic way.
They stir in us strong emotions. Our emotions make us feel, which if you had to try and describe the emotion of love (a feeling) it is very hard to put into words. If you had ten people in a room, and asked for a description, you are more than likely to get ten different answers.
What happens chemically in our bodies when we feel? Our bodies can produce and release adrenaline, dopamine, serotonin, oxytocin and more. These chemicals can give us the feelings or high of excitement and warm fuzzes. There can be a comparison to the similar effects of cocaine. We may desire these chemicals to be released in our blood stream at any time, but also at times of sadness; hence the desire of what may seem like torturous love songs after a break-up or romantic movies that may especially end in a sad way. They create in us intense emotions.
Also, our emotions at times of sadness, if you are watching a sad love story or listening to love songs, may create feelings of even deeper hurt and pain or greater focus on your pain. What does this do? Glad you asked! We focus more on our pain, which means, we focus more on ourselves, to put it in the simplest terms, self attention. Since you don’t (or nobody) loves and values me enough, I will just have to love myself. We are going to get value and attention some way, even if it has to hurt. There you have it; addicted to emotion during and after the relationship.
Contact Us For Consulting!
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